I’m sitting here in my favorite chair, drinking my morning coffee and reading before heading into work. Furiously typing because a pretty incredible thing (to me) just happened. As I sat here on this quiet morning, I heard the sound of a train horn “choo choo,” and although I know it may not sound like much, it’s a sound I’ve never heard before here in Boston in my little North End apartment. It stopped me in my tracks, instantly taking me back to my childhood where I would lie in bed hearing the trains in the valley below our home early in the morning. I was transported back to that time, and my heart felt at ease. I don’t know what train I heard this morning, but it felt like it was trying to tell me something. Further, just last night, not even twelve hours ago, my friend jokingly told me to pick a bedtime story. I replied promptly without thought, “The Little Engine that Could,” my favorite childhood book. I have the most vivid memories of my dad mumbling “ I think I can I think I can” intermixed between the sounds of a train chugging along. It taught me to believe in myself, to keep going when things are tough, and this morning, I think this reminder is exactly what I needed.
It’s been a long week, a hard week. A week of vacation that instead of spent traveling or visiting family back home was spent stuck home here in Boston amidst another covid surge. I felt lonely, down, anxious, unsure where to turn or what to think. Instead of running away, I sat with these feelings. I wanted to get to know better what it is my body is trying to tell me during these times. I’ll likely write more later about what I learned, as I’m still coming out of this funk, but this morning, I feel like it’s going to be okay. That distant sound of the train horn was like a gentle nudge reminding me that I can do this. That I can do hard things and I can persist. That we will find our way through this darkness, we will endure this surge, we will survive the chaos. Nearly three decades ago my dad taught me this through bedtime stories, and this morning, the faint sound of a train brought me home and reminded me of this lifelong lesson. I think I can, I think I can, and in doing so, I believe it is true.